Beer League Bible · Vol. I For everyone who plays after work
BLB Beer League Bible Join the list →
A hockey guide for the rest of us Bend the knees. Pass the puck. Buy the next round.

BeerLeagueBible


The hockey playbook for everyone who plays after work. Real technique, told straight. Real laughs, told sideways.

ForRookies → Vets
Pillars4
ToneUseful + funny
Game time10:45 p.m.
01 · Start here

Pick a path

No matter where you're at, there's a place to drop in.

Rookie

New to the game

First year on skates. Or returning after fifteen years off. Start with edges, stride, and where to stand without panicking.

First chapter Skating basics
Skater

Hold your own

You can skate. You can pass. You're tired of being the one icing it on the breakout. Time to sharpen the small stuff.

First chapter Positioning reads
Vet

Been at it forever

Knees of duct tape. Hands of stone. Wisdom for days. Here for the laughs, the bench stories, and small tune-ups.

First chapter Find your line
02 · The four pillars

What you'll learn

Read in order, or just open the one that keeps embarrassing you.

01 Skating

Bend your knees

How to stop skating like a baby giraffe on Sunday-morning ice.

Stride length, edge work, crossovers without faceplants. Starts at the ankles and ends with your quads burning by shift two.

Open the chapter
02 Positioning

Know your lane

Where to stand in each zone so coach doesn't yell from the bench.

Defensive coverage, neutral-zone reads, forecheck without becoming the backcheck. With a top-down rink so you finally see "weak side."

Open the chapter
03 Shooting

Pick a corner

Weight transfer, stick flex, and why your wrister keeps going Frisbee.

Wrist, snap, slap, and the bar-down prayer. Where to grip, where to shift your weight, where to look so the goalie can't read you.

Open the chapter
04 Diet

Fuel up, sort of

Pregame meals, postgame poutine, and the role of beer (significant).

From the pasta-loaders to the chicken-wing crowd. What real beer leaguers actually eat before a 9 p.m. start. Plus a hydration section that mostly says "water, please."

Open the chapter
03 · Inside a lesson

How it works

Every chapter follows the same three-part pattern.

Chapter 01 · Lesson 1

Bend your
knees

Lower your center of gravity by bending at the knees, not the waist. You'll be more stable, faster, and you'll stop looking like you're skating through a windstorm with both hands on a coffee.

Watch a five-year-old at public skate. Now watch yourself. Match the five-year-old.

The right way

Knees over toes. Chest up. Stick handle brushes the inside of your thigh, not the back of the bench guy's head.

The wrong way

Standing straight up. You will fall. Everyone will see. Someone will absolutely film it.

Drill it

Three sets of 30-second wall sits before puck drop. Or skate a slow lap in a deep squat. Five minutes, three times a week.

04 · Find your line

Know the league

Find yourself. Or the guy on your line who keeps icing it.

№ 01

The beauty

Hands like silk. Flow under the bucket. Once scored twice on his own goalie.

№ 02

The plug

Doesn't score. Doesn't fight. Blocks shots with his face. Beloved.

№ 03

The rookie

Skates squeak. Helmet stickers crisp. Believes offsides applies to everyone.

№ 04

The vet

Knees of duct tape. Knows every ref by first name. Last open-ice hit, 2007.

№ 05

The enforcer

Two-minute minor per shift. Always brings the postgame case.

№ 06

The goalie

Different kind of broken. Buy him the first beer.

One a week.
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A new lesson every Tuesday. The day you play anyway. Join the list →